Coming out of the closet – Tips for accepting your child who is gay

When my daughter told me that she was gay and had a crush on a girl in college, I wasn’t the least bit surprised. She had read the signs before. Most parents are afraid of never being a grandparent, or worry about being judged by other family members or close friends and start making excuses and cover-ups. Feelings of guilt, shame, and blame are all too familiar when you have a gay child. None of this needs to be. After all, being gay is not a terminal illness.

First of all, it’s about your child, not you. Don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by what others may be thinking, because your friends will no doubt find out eventually. Don’t blame yourself as a parent. It’s something that happens and there shouldn’t be a blame game. It doesn’t help to start thinking about how it happened or talking negatively to your child and feeling inadequate as a parent.

You can never force a gay person to become straight any more than you can become gay if you’re not. It is something that needs acceptance. I can give you some advice on how to stay closely connected with your child throughout his or her life.

It is best if you can treat your child in the same way as his other siblings, keeping in mind that he may need your support a little more than others. The world will prove to be a harsh master, and people do not always agree with homosexuality for personal reasons of their own. This is still something that society needs to be educated about and your child will have to face great challenges throughout his life, and it is important that your child can feel that he is closely connected with family members who are always open to the discussion.

Trying to tell them who they should be instead of allowing them to just be is detrimental to both you and your child, and from the experiences I’ve had, it’s not a good idea to keep asking questions.

It is better that you support them and never force them to leave home, since it is something that you may regret over time. The courage it takes for a person to tell their family the truth about their sexuality requires strength and courage.

My daughter is now in her mid-thirties, we have a very close bond because we took some very simple steps to create a stable and loving environment in her developmental years. Accepting her son for who he is is the best form of love that she can show. She generates security and tranquility for the whole family and a good and balanced attitude.

And always have an extra bed ready when they visit you.