A Children’s Guide to Adoption
How do you create a family? Most people think that a family is formed when a couple gives birth to their children. But families can happen in many ways. On the television show The Brady Bunch, the mother and father remarry, combining their two families into one. Another way to create a family is through adoption. In legal terms, once a child is adopted, the adult who adopted the child is the parent. How do you create a family? Most people think that a family is formed when a couple gives birth to their children. But families can happen in many ways. On the television show The Brady Bunch, the mother and father remarry, combining their two families into one. Another way to create a family is through adoption. In legal terms, once a child is adopted, the adult who adopted the child is the parent.
Why do people want to adopt children?
There are probably as many reasons for wanting to adopt children as there are children waiting to be adopted. Some couples cannot have children for medical reasons, but still want to start a family. Some single adults, even though they do not have a partner or do not want to get married, desperately want to be parents. Parents of other children could remarry and their new stepfather could adopt them. Regardless of the way a father and son come together, whether by birth, marriage, or adoption, a new family is born.
What is adoption and how does it work? The process of adopting a child can be quite long and complicated. Some single adults and couples have to wait years to adopt a baby. People who want to adopt undergo extensive background checks including, in some states, submitting their fingerprints to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI).
People who want to adopt children also meet with social workers or representatives of an adoption agency who ask questions such as why they want to adopt, their attitudes towards children, and how they resolve family disagreements. This process is necessary for children to be placed in good homes where they can grow up happy and loved.
Why do children need to be adopted? Of course, the financial aspect is only part of the adoption. Babies and children are a huge responsibility, and not everyone is ready to be a parent. If you have ever taken care of a puppy, you know that taking care of a pet can be very demanding and requires a lot of attention. Taking care of a baby is probably a hundred times more work! But this is just one of the many reasons why there are so many children waiting to be adopted.
In many cases, a young or single woman who gives birth to a baby cannot assume that responsibility, so she develops an adoption plan for her baby. Other times, especially in the case of adoptions from other countries, there is war, illness or poverty, and a parent may believe that the baby would be better off in another country. Sometimes a child’s parents may pass away and he needs to go to someone else who can take care of him.
If you were adopted Children who were adopted are no different from other children. But if you were adopted, you may have a little more on your mind than your friends. Sometimes finding out that you were adopted can make it difficult for you to pay attention at school. Many adopted children wonder about their biological parents and why they did not keep them. Sometimes they feel abandoned even if they love their parents and are happy in their home. They may also wonder where they come from and what nationalities they are. These feelings are normal and you should discuss them with a parent or another trusted adult so that you can calm yourself down.
Some children don’t find out they were adopted until they are older, sometimes not until they are adults. Your parents may have put off telling you until they thought they might understand better or because they were afraid of your reaction. Finding out later that they were adopted may be more of an adjustment for an older child or adult. This is why experts say it is best to explain to a child that they were adopted when they are around 3 or 4 years old, when they are putting together sentences for the first time and can understand complex things.
If your brother or sister was adopted If your parents had you, the so-called “real child,” does that make your foster brother or sister a fake? Of course not! Being adopted does not make a sibling less real or part of the family. There is no question that there are differences between you and your brother or sister. But there would be differences between you if both of you were also born into your family. No two people are alike. Think how boring that would be!
The facts are that your brother or sister, adopted or not, will be a part of your life for a long time and they will depend even more on each other as they get older. Talk to your foster brother or sister about their concerns. You may be able to help clarify his feelings about being adopted or encourage him to talk to a parent or other trusted adult. You might even suggest that they discuss the situation as a family.
If someone you know was adopted If you discover that someone you know, perhaps a good friend, was adopted, there is no reason to treat them differently. Your friend is still the same person he was the day before. If your friend wants or needs to talk about their situation, listen to them. Your friend will likely feel better just talking about their feelings, and by being a good listener, you have been a good friend. Knowing how your friend feels about his situation will allow you to stand up to anyone who tries to make fun of him for being different.
Adoption can be difficult to understand or even accept, but it helps many people in many ways: Parents who cannot care for their children can place them with people who can, and children without parents can be part of a family.